Goodbye.

Today woke up to the smell of bacon. I was really confused. My mom never makes us breakfast anymore. Everyone is always too busy. I got dressed and went down stairs where my whole family was sitting at the dining room table. We never sit at the table. My mom made me and plate piled with bacon, pancakes, butter, and eggs. She told me that she noticed my strange eating patterns and was concerned. She made a deal with me. I had to either eat everything on my plate or she was taking me to the hospital. I tried to consume all those calories but I couldn't force myself to do it. I told her that I wasn't hungry and everything was fine. She wasn't convinced. She checked me into the hospital for anorexia. Right now I am sitting in the hospital with a nurse watching my every move. I need to stay here for 3 days and then go to a treatment facility for another month. I hate my life. I will miss you ana...   

Worst Week Ever

I was doing pretty good this week. I barely ate all tuesday, wednesday and thursday. And after all my hard work I binged! Ew! I couldn't help it. Once I started eating, I couldn't stop. I hate myself. I hate myself so much. Before last night I lost 8 pounds, but now I probably gained it all back. I am too scared to step on the scale. Worst of all I am failing 3 classes!!! Calculus, chemistry, and history. My teachers keep emailing and calling my parents. No one understands! I can't go to school looking this fat! I don't want people to make fun of me for my weight. I don't want to go back to school until I am skinny! Ughhhh. :(

I can't take it anymore! All I can think about is food! I am starting to feel sick and I have been really tired lately. This morning I had softball practice and then we had to lift weights. I felt so dizzy and lightheaded. And to make everything worse my mom is starting to ask me questions about my weird behavior. I don't know what to tell her. I think she is going to try to get me help! But I don't want help... I want to be skinny!!!
Today i ate...
1/2 a package of oatmeal (85 calories)
saltine crakers (70 calories)
and popcorn (100 calories)
255 calories!!!!!!! Why am I so fat!?!
Does anyone know some food that I can eat that will fill me up but won't make me fat! :( Let me know!

Yesterday was a good day. I only ate 450 calories and went for a 3 mile run. For spring break me and my family are going to Florida. I am not ready! I am going to look so ugly in my swimsuit!!!! :( I have been trying so hard to lose weight but, I still look fat! How can I lose weight fast? HELP ME!

This is my inspiration! I want to look like her!

Help Me

Ana has been my friend for a year now, but I just started looking at some blogs and was inspired so I decided to make one of my own. I need some extra support to stay strong and not eat becuase I feel so fat and disgusting right now. I have been fasting on and off for a year but can never stick to it for more than a week or so. I hate my body and everytime I look in the mirror I cringe. My parents still haven't noticed my eating habits and I hope they never do. I need to keep losing weight so please comment and support me with any helpful tips you  have!